I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I wish I knew how to fix myself. Today was not one of my better days. Today was a day full of dread and self-loathing. Why? I cannot come up with an answer, not even for myself. I know I am weak-minded, but that is only because I know my life is a life not worth living. I mean, I understand how lucky I am to know many people who love me. I also know that I am surrounded by many people who care about my well-being, yet I cannot help but feel alone. I get to know others, and I have learned that I am not alone in feeling this way, but this newfound information has not changed the fact that I am alone. Every single day I wish and hope to become a person who truly loves life and is sincerely happy in all aspects of life. I want to be her. I want to be him. I want to be anyone else but myself. Maybe then, I would have a chance at happiness. Perhaps I was just born morose, destined to live a life of melancholy. I wish I knew a mad scientist willing to operate on me by rewiring my brain to eternal positivity and joyousness. I constantly hear that the key to happiness is simply altering one’s negative thinking to positive thinking. Not as simple as it sounds. Not to me. To me, my “negative thinking” is more like realistic thinking, yet I guess I could do better in the “down-talking” department. I need help. I do not fully understand how to love myself. I also do not fully understand how I ever could. I hate me, and I should. I need to change drastically, and I must. The me that has been existing must cease to exist, or else the me who wants to live will never have a chance at happiness.